Listen up because you never know what you are going to hear!

Do you consider yourself a good listener in both your personal and professional life?

I try to listen well, but then there are those times when someone is saying something to me, and instead of really listening to their whole sentence, I’m already thinking about how I want to respond and how I will say what I want to say or worse yet, I will interrupt them in midstream.   I hope I’m not the only one guilty of this.

I’ve realized over the years that there is an art to listening well. Now you may be reading this and thinking Why is this so important, and why should I care. When you are on the other end, you are the one who wants to be heard.  Right?  Here’s an example.

A few weeks ago, I went to dinner with a very close friend, and in the middle of what I was sharing with her, there were these long pauses while she was texting her friend. I actually felt offended and came to the conclusion that multi-tasking and listening well never go together.

I believe that in any relationship whether it’s with an acquaintance, a spouse or your boss, that the art of becoming better listeners will only enrich us and help those around us feel like they really matter and that they are really being heard.

After recently reading an article by Nancy Friedman called “Six Easy Steps to Becoming a Better Listener”, I found a few interesting tips that we all may wish to implement:

1: Decide to become a better listener. First, you have to make up your mind that that is what you really want to do.

2: Concentrate. Keep an open mind to what the other person is saying, forgetting about your own agenda.

3: Give verbal feedback in using words like interesting, great, I understand, etc.

4: Make a mental note of what is being said, and pay attention to the tone of the other person’s voice because oftentimes, tone speaks volumes.

Not listening or half listening can be dangerous. So listen up because you never know what you are going to hear!

I decided to talk about something on a more personal level today.

We all have memories from our life experiences whether they be  memories to treasure, memories that are vague, funny memories,  or sentimental memories.    After hearing a few years ago about the passing away of one of my all time favorite singers, Eydie Gorme, I began thinking about how we are at the end of an era musically and memories came flooding back of growing up on  the music of Eydie and Steve.

As a voice artist and vocalist, like many other artists, I love talking shop. But surprisingly enough, Eydie Gorme’s passing hit me on a more personal level after losing my mother just a few months ago. I have memories of my mother and I sitting back, listening to an album of hers, and marveling at her vocal control. Both of my parents gave me a love and appreciation for big band music, better known these days   as the Great American Song Book. I grew up with   Eydie Gorme and Steve Lawrence records all over our house along with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Dean Martin, and you name it. Now I’m really outdating myself, I realize, but I couldn’t help thinking today about the wonderful memories of the great music that I grew to love and appreciate through my family. Oh yes, and not to mention Tony Bennet, who is 85 years old and still going strong

Of course, we have some wonderful jazz artists out there now, and people like Michael Buble and Renee Olstead who are carrying on the big band tradition.    But with losing as many great entertainers as we have lost, (oh, and I forgot to mention George Duke),it makes me realize the way the business as a whole has changed, the way the marketing has changed, and the way our entire world has changed, not to mention the fact that life is short, and we all have to make the most of it.  These people will never be forgotten, and as strange as this may sound, I almost feel as if they were personal friends. There was an elegance and sophistication about them that will be greatly missed.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are many of today’s artists who I absolutely love whether they be country, jazz or pop. There are many great talents who have been discovered from shows like StarSearch, American Idol, and The Voice, to name a few.

But the people who I want to  give special attention to today are people like Eydie Gorme, Sammy Davis, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Bobby Darin, and I could go on and on. They left us with something, I believe. A kind of sophistication and refinement that could only come from living in that time period. Even though we have come to the end of an era, I am thankful for the joy of the music that they left with us that will never die. A joy to treasure, something that will remain with those of us who knew them, so to speak. Their voices will always be with us. So will their stories, and also their memories. I’m thankful for the legacy that they left behind,   their music that will continue to live on,and the memories to be cherished that noone can take away. Aren’t memories the best?          

Rejection: That R word. We all hate it, right? How does it make you feel when you even hear the word.

I don’t know about you, but when I even think about the word, all sorts of negative thoughts come flooding in.

As we all know, there are all sorts of rejections that come along in one lifetime, and we all experience it at some time or another in some way, shape or form. You didn’t get that job you so desperately wanted, and you were so close to getting it.  You didn’t get accepted to the only college that you really wanted to go to, and then there was that person you wanted to go out with that turned you down. These are only a few examples of the types of rejections that can come along, of course. There are many that are much more inward than these that maybe you’ve held on to for years.

If I had known when I went in to voice work, how many auditions I was going to end up recording that passed right by me and that were given to someone else, well, I often ask myself, Would I have still gone in to this? I always come up with the same answer, Yes, I would have, and I have no regrets. When you are in the entertainment field, whether you model, act, or sing, there will always be auditions, and there will always be rejections. I’ve always heard it said that you need to have a very thick skin to be in this type of business, and now I know that it’s true. If I truly know that I felt good about my audition after I   sent it out, and that I did the best that I could, when I receive a new one, I get it out, and forget about it, knowing that another one will come along before I know it.

What if we all did that with every type of rejection we received in life rather than stewing about it. Wouldn’t it make life a whole lot easier? You could just move on and keep running the race.

Have you ever noticed that when we want something so desperately, whatever it may be, we try way too hard to make it happen, and that can make us forget to relax and be ourselves. If we could all just do our best, and then let it go, we could actually enjoy life more and maybe breathe just a little bit easier. What do you think?   

After attending a voiceover conference and meeting voiceover actors from all over the world, I’ve returned home feeling empowered once again, ready to improve my acting skills and to return to the craft that I love with a lot more energy than I had   in the past. Isn’t that what conferences are all about?For me, that’s why I went in the first place, to get pumped up, and that’s just what I did.

This year’s theme was entitled Better than Ever. This was the third conference that I attended, and this one was, without a doubt, truly better than ever!

Most of the time, voiceover actors are isolated in their home studios for hours at a time, and I’ve discovered that at times, it can be a very lonely profession. This is only one of the reasons why it’s such a great feeling to see colleagues from all over the world getting together in one place, laughing, learning and just having a great time exchanging all sorts of information.

Of course, just as with anything else in life, time flies when you are having fun right?The challenge comes and the work begins, when you have to leave the mountaintop, so to speak. All of a sudden, it’s back to reality! It’s back to paying bills,and attending to whatever responsibilities  happen to be your responsibilities. And, of course, we all know that we can’t stay on that mountaintop forever, right? We’d all end up exhausted if we did, especially the hosts of the events.

I believe that there are several steps we can take to get that back to reality momentum going again.

#1 Bask in the memories. Think about the new people you’ve connected with. Some of those people will turn in to life-long friendships.

#2 Take a look every once in a while, at  those pictures you took. They will always be there to enjoy and to treasure.

#3 Think of the knowledge that you came away with. I believe that there is great joy when you come away with something new wherever you go, and then when you find a way to apply it in your every day life, that’s even better.

It’s like turning over a new leaf, or closing  a book and beginning a new one.

What lies ahead in the future can only be good. What do you think? Or maybe even better than ever!         

After attending a voiceover conference and meeting voiceover actors from all over the world, I’ve returned home feeling empowered once again, ready to improve my acting skills and to return to the craft that I love with a lot more energy than I had   in the past. Isn’t that what conferences are all about?For me, that’s why I went in the first place, to get pumped up, and that’s just what I did.  

This year’s theme was entitled Better than Ever. This was the third conference that I attended, and this one was, without a doubt, truly better than ever!

Most of the time, voiceover actors are isolated in their home studios for hours at a time, and I’ve discovered that at times, it can be a very lonely profession. This is only one of the reasons why it’s such a great feeling to see colleagues from all over the world getting together in one place, laughing, learning and just having a great time exchanging all sorts of information.

Of course, just as with anything else in life, time flies when you are having fun right?The challenge comes and the work begins, when you have to leave the mountaintop, so to speak. All of a sudden, it’s back to reality! It’s back to paying bills,and attending to whatever responsibilities  happen to be your responsibilities. And, of course, we all know that we can’t stay on that mountaintop forever, right? We’d all end up exhausted if we did, especially the hosts of the events.  

I believe that there are several steps we can take to get that back to reality momentum going again.

#1 Bask in the memories. Think about the new people you’ve connected with. Some of those people will turn in to life-long friendships. 

2 Take a look every once in a while, at  those pictures you took. They will always be there to enjoy and to treasure.

3 Think of the knowledge that you came away with. I believe that there is great joy when you come away with something new wherever you go, and then when you find a way to apply it in your every day life, that’s even better.

It’s like turning over a new leaf, or closing  a book and beginning a new one.

What lies ahead in the future can only be good. What do you think. Or maybe even better than ever!            

I don’t know about the rest of you, but for those of us who live in southern California, wouldn’t you say that with our beautiful weather on a daily basis, we should really call this place paradise? Well, not counting the traffic, of course. Wouldn’t you say we are on the spoiled side?

In the Me society that we have become accustomed to living in, how often do we think about giving back.

The other day, I was listening to a radio station where they had put a contest together where, if you entered this particular contest, and your name was drawn, you would win $500. But there was a catch to winning that $500. The whole object of the contest was that you could keep half of the $500, but give the other half away either to your church, to your favorite charity or wherever you wanted it to go. What a concept!   Now wouldn’t the normal inclination be to just keep the $500 for yourself? We all have bills to pay right?

But then again, there’s something contagious about giving something of yourself without expecting anything in return.

When you attend a business networking event and you are meeting someone for the first time, do you find yourself saying as you exchange business cards, What can you do for me. Do you think you can help me? Is there anyone you know who can help me step up my career?

What if instead, you said, Now how did you decide to get in to the career that you chose or Is there anything that you feel that you are needing right now that you think I might be able to help you with. What if you just simply formed a friendship. That friendship that you form could possibly bring you business leads down the road or it could turn in to a lifelong friendship, and how nice would that be!

I think there’s an inner joy that we all experience knowing that we’ve helped someone along the way, and later on down the road, I think we experience the joy of the help that we are looking for coming back to us in ways that we never thought possible. It’s a natural sequence of events, not something that’s forced.

The other day, I went to breakfast by myself, and while I was sitting at the table, I ran in to someone who I had met at a networking event several years ago. She told me she was sitting on the patio having breakfast with a small business networking group and invited me to join them. Now she did not have to do this right? She could have just gone on her way. But because I did decide to join this group, I met some very nice people. I don’t know whether it will lead to work or not, but I just met some nice people and got to hear an interesting speaker.

So rather than saying, what can you do for me, turn it around, and say, what can I do for you. Try it once and see what happens.  It’s all about paying it forward!

If you are someone who happens to be self-employed like I am in the voiceover and music industries, what are you doing to promote yourself on a daily basis or are you even promoting yourself at all. Are you the type of person who is not afraid to assert yourself, or would you say you are on the  quiet and shy side. Are you afraid to tell people about what you do because it may feel a little uncomfortable or maybe kind of like you are bragging? Are you afraid of coming off too pushy? Or, on the other hand, because you have a passion for what you do, does talking about it come naturally to you everywhere you go?

As I write this, I’m thinking back to when I recorded my very first demo. I was very excited about the professional quality of it, and when it was all completed, I was all set to sit down and begin making phone calls to introduce myself to prospective clients. All of a sudden, I felt paralyzed. Does this sound familiar? Have you been there? I remember thinking, Oh this can wait a few days, and then a few days turned in to a couple of weeks. Subconsciously, I was making excuse after excuse and if I remember correctly, I was probably spending a good part of the day on Facebook instead, not that there’s anything wrong with spending time on Facebook, but I think you get the gist of what I am saying.

So what was it that snapped me out of this, you might ask. Honestly, I had to do some self talk and give myself a wake up call. I woke up one morning and said, If you don’t do this for yourself, noone else is going to do this for you. This is your business, not anyone else’s.  I realized that I had to take a chance and jump in with both feet. There was no boss standing over my shoulder saying You’ve got to make those phone calls now.

I have now become very used to making phone calls and introducing myself to people, and it has become second nature to me. Have I made mistakes along the way? Of course. We all do, and we learn from them. That’s the cool part.

I’ve put together some possible suggestions which I hope may be helpful, especially to those of you who are getting started in your own businesses:

1: Before calling and introducing yourself to the Marketing Director of a Fortune 500 company or the Creative Director of an ad agency, do a little homework. Look at the company’s website to find out exactly what they do. Jot down notes about things that you particularly like about their site so that you can compliment whoever you are speaking with  regarding what you noticed.

2: Before picking up that phone, put a little script together sticking to the main points so as not to get off track. In other words, put your 30 second pitch together.

3: Test it out on a close friend who has been in his or her own business for a long time, and ask them to critique it.

4: Now. Go ahead and make that first call, and when you do, be yourself, listen carefully to how the person on the other end of the line is responding, and don’t forget to smile.

These are just a few little suggestions to encourage you to get started.   I believe that There is an art to this thing called self promotion.

If any of you would like to respond or have any other  thoughts after reading this, I always welcome new input.

Isn’t there an old saying that says Practice makes perfect?I believe that the more you practice the art of self promotion, it’s bound to get better and better instead of scarier and scarier. Go for it, and good luck!

Do you tweet, and if so, how often? Do you have an account on LinkedIn, and if so, how many connections do you have? Are you on Facebook, and do you have a business account as well as an account with family and friends? Are you blogging, and how often?  Oh, and we can’t forget Google Plus. And my final question is: Do you even care about all of this?

After attending a meeting where social networking was the topic of discussion, I began wondering, how did all of this take off so quickly. It seemed to spread like wildfire, and now, no matter what your point of view is regarding this, it’s here to stay.

I’ve heard people talk about how they tweet every 15 minutes, and others talk about how vital it is to maintain their presence on LinkedIn in order to build those professional relationships. Then on the other side of the coin, I’ve talked to people who have said, it’s a waste of my time, and I want nothing to do with any of it.

For me, as someone who happens to have no vision, it is a challenging experience. Because I am not able to use a mouse and only use key strokes, I have found many sites geared toward social networking to be non-user friendly.

So if you or I decide not to engage in social networking, is that going to prevent us from getting work? I don’t think so, but I do believe that the chances of getting work and establishing some great new relationships are much greater if we give this our best shot.

Here are some tips that I have found to be helpful:

1: Don’t put pressure on yourself. If you are new at this, start out slow, and begin with a site that makes you feel most comfortable. Your choices are still your own.

2: Set your own time limit on a daily basis whether it’s 15 minutes, one hour or whatever it is. You can’t really get involved in this unless you begin to enjoy it.

3: Read some books for beginners if you are new at this. There are many out there.

And if you honestly don’t care one way or the other, that’s okay, too.

Do you tweet, and if so, how often? Do you have an account on LinkedIn, and if so, how many connections do you have? Are you on Facebook, and do you have a business account as well as an account with family and friends? Are you blogging, and how often?  Oh, and we can’t forget Google Plus. And my final question is: Do you even care about all of this?

After attending a meeting where social networking was the topic of discussion, I began wondering, how did all of this take off so quickly. It seemed to spread like wildfire, and now, no matter what your point of view is regarding this, it’s here to stay.

I’ve heard people talk about how they tweet every 15 minutes, and others talk about how vital it is to maintain their presence on LinkedIn in order to build those professional relationships. Then on the other side of the coin, I’ve talked to people who have said, it’s a waste of my time, and I want nothing to do with any of it.

For me, as someone who happens to have no vision, it is a challenging experience. Because I am not able to use a mouse and only use key strokes, I have found many sites geared toward social networking to be non-user friendly.

So if you or I decide not to engage in social networking, is that going to prevent us from getting work? I don’t think so, but I do believe that the chances of getting work and establishing some great new relationships are much greater if we give this our best shot.   

Here are some tips that I have found to be helpful:

1: Don’t put pressure on yourself. If you are new at this, start out slow, and begin with a site that makes you feel most comfortable. Your choices are still your own.

2: Set your own time limit on a daily basis whether it’s 15 minutes, one hour or whatever it is. You can’t really get involved in this unless you begin to enjoy it.

3: Read some books for beginners if you are new at this. There are many out there.

And if you honestly don’t care one way or the other, that’s okay, too.

There’s an old saying that says, nothing is forever, and as we all know, life is full of change, and whether we want it or not, change is just a part of life. Some changes we resist, and some we find adventurous. I myself have never done well with changes like moving or wishing a friend well when they move. I become pretty comfortable with my set routine. But on another note, change can be good, and change is growth.

I wanted to take a little time and share with you changes that I feel have been happening gradually in the music industry over the years. This is just one example:

A very close friend of mine has been performing at a restaurant that has been a landmark in this area for many years, and they have decided to close their doors which will leave every employee out of a job including him. That    makes me very sad, and because  this has been on my heart, I thought I’d share some other  thoughts that it has brought to my mind regarding the lack of live entertainment that we are seeing now in comparison to the 80’s and 90’s.

How many clubs have replaced live bands with DJ’s who just spin records all night long or maybe they have karaoke nights instead of hiring professional musicians. Aren’t we losing something called personal touch?

It’s sad to say this, but it seems that in our country, the arts are very under appreciated. In our schools, the music and art programs are the first to be cut.  That is why I admire celebrities like Herb Alpert who started a foundation to keep the arts alive in schools for under-privileged children.

In our country,  I see  the arts gradually being forgotten or placed on a level of low importance. In European countries, they are placed on a level of high importance.

I get on a soapbox about this.  For me, music is a healer, and it’s live music that brings people together. How can we cut self-expression and not continue to encourage it in generations to come. Thanks for reading. Your comments are welcome.